Apparently my sister-in-law is betrothed to a man who genuinely enjoys washing cars, and he had what might have been around 500 bucks in gear just dedicated to the art.
Long story short, I learned out to use a buffing machine and learned about polish and sealant for cars along with the process of applying them.
The only bad side effect from this hands on learning experience was the fact we missed our town's yearly event formerly known as "Duvall Days". They've changed it into what they are calling the "Country Livin' Festival". It was supposedly a 2 day event that only lasted one day, so we missed it altogether thinking we could enjoy it at our leisure on Sunday. We went to one of the local businesses which had an employee that was as perplexed as we were that nothing was going on for Sunday. I don't think any of us got the memo.